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Thursday, May 17 • 10:00am - 11:40am
No' your way to trust

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Saying ‘No’ is not easy. It feels unkind, likely to raise conflict and positively hazardous to your relationship with the person your are denying.

I’ve spent a lifetime avoiding having to say ‘No’. I had to work up my anger and resentment to get to a point where I could say ‘No’. As a result I wasn’t very good at it. Which turned it into a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Saying ‘no’ ineffectively would strain my relationships, which made me avoid it more, which made me worse at it, which would strain ... etc.

Yet the willingness and ability to say ‘No’ effectively is an essential ingredient of (self-)trust and being trustworthy.

And trust is a prerequisite for true agility.

When I realized that, I started to work on getting better at it.

Finding William Ury’s “The power of a positive ‘no’” was an enormous gift and created a breakthrough for me. Since I started reading it, I’ve come to characterize it as the best book for trust that isn’t about trust.
What you will be able to demonstrate after this session:
  • Being comfortable saying 'No' when it matters
  • Getting your 'No' accepted more often and more easily
  • Sticking with your 'No' when confronted with push back
For this you will learn
  • How being willing and able to say ‘No’ affects your self-trust and trustworthiness
  • The structure of a Positive ‘No’: Yes! - No - Yes?
  • What the function and necessity of each template part is.
  • How to find your ‘Yes!’.
  • How to express your ‘No’ and ride the storm of someone’s response.
  • How to continue the relationship - possibly stronger than before - with your ‘Yes?’

avatar for Marjan Venema

Marjan Venema

Chief Idea Officer, Braving Trust
I am a techie and coach, a philosopher and a thinker, a storyteller and a bit of a nut. Having been on the receiving end of every management theory out there for more than 30+ years, I am now on a mission to improve the playing field for everyone through advocacy of the agile mindset... Read More →

Thursday May 17, 2018 10:00am - 11:40am EDT
Salon 1